


Erised

by ChimaeraKitten



Category: Batgirl (Comics), DCU (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Gen, No editing we die like mne, One Shot, gen b/c the ship is barely even implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 17:32:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11468325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChimaeraKitten/pseuds/ChimaeraKitten
Summary: “What would you see, if you looked in the mirror of Erised?” when Stephanie saw the question in a buzzfeed quiz, she found herself seriously considering its implications. Bringing it up didn’t offer her any solutions, but it did spark similar reflections in Tim and Cass.





	Erised

Stephanie squinted at her phone screen. Why would a question like that be in a “which JLA member are you?” quiz? And what the hell even were the choices? “World Peace”? “Yourself, standing over a vanquished supervillain”? Like obviously Buzzfeed hadn’t asked the actual league about the answers to these questions. Oreo cookies hadn’t even been an option in the “Favorite snack” category, yet the quiz claimed that Martian Manhunter was one of the possibilities. But still, this was a new low. None of the options were even close to likely.

Stephanie sighed and rolled over. She selected the option she knew would giver her Black Canary (“yourself, rocking some fishnets and boots”) and kept scrolling.

Three more questions and she got- big surprise here- Black Canary as a result. She took a screenshot and texted it to Dinah. She’d get a kick out of it.

Stephanie tapped the link to another quiz (“What Minnesota congressman are you?”) and answered the first two questions before getting bored.

She tossed her phone to the side, deciding that since she couldn’t patrol then she might as well sleep, even though it was only midnight. Stupid twisted ankle.

After fifteen minutes of staring at the ceiling willing sleep to come, she rolled back over and grabbed her phone. She had to admit, the question was eating at her a little bit. Not having an immediate answer worried her, to be honest. Shouldn’t she know?

She glanced at the clock. Tim was supposed to be on a stakeout tonight, right? So he’d be safe to bother. 

> **Steph**
> 
> What do you think you’d see in the mirror of Erised?
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> Myself, holding a pair of thick woolen socks
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> LOL but no, seriously
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> I dunno. Why do u ask?
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> Saw it in an Internet quiz. Got curious.
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> Yeah I’m not sure. You aren’t really supposed to know until you look, right?
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> Yeah but you probably have some idea
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> A year ago maybe, but IDK now
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> Ok, then what would it have been a year ago?
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> Bruce and Kon and Bart back
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> Oh
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> Well
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> That’s good, right? You have what you would have wanted
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> I guess, yeah.
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> What about you? What would the mirror of desire show?
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> Wait, mirror of desire?
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> Yeah, Erised is desire spelled backwards
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> Wat
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> Did you never catch that? OMG
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> Shut up
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> I can’t believe this. Stephanie “I want to be Nymphadora Tonks when I grow up” Brown didn’t even realize that Erised is Desire spelled backwards
> 
> **Steph**
> 
> Screw you.
> 
> **Tim**
> 
> Lmao gtg

Stephanie glared at the phone. Tim was _ever so_ helpful. She could try texting Damian, but that would probably result in a stabbing. She pulled up Cass’s contact instead.

> **Steph**
> 
> What would you see in the mirror of Erised? 

For a brief moment, Steph was worried that Cass wouldn’t know what she was talking about, or that Cass’s screen reader app would have trouble with the word “Erised.”

But her worries were for naught, as Cass texted back a second later.

> **Cass**
> 
> *shrug emoji* have to think about it later. Patrolling. Bye.

Stephanie rolled her eyes. Gee, thanks Cass. That clears it up.

She tossed her phone on the floor, making a mental note not to step on it tomorrow morning. She stared up at the ceiling again, the question still eating at her. What _would_ she see in the mirror of Erised?

She spared a brief thought to the idea that maybe she’d see her family, happy. A dad who never turned to crime and a mom who never turned to the pills. But Stephanie had long since outgrown that childish fantasy. She had to live with what she had on that front.

Maybe… Maybe she’d see herself in Robin red. Never fired, never tortured.

Stephanie frowned. That didn’t seem right either. She _liked_ being Batgirl. She felt… better… as Batgirl. She was her own person, and part of a legacy of independent heroes. And besides, when she’d been Robin, she had the knowledge that she was filling Tim’s place hanging over her the whole time.

An image came to Stephanie’s mind, unbidden, of a little girl with blonde pigtails. Stephanie gripped her sheets as a way of anchoring herself against the onslaught. She made the right choice, she knew. And yet…

And yet Stephanie wished that that option hadn’t been the right one. That a house with a white picket fence and a smiling child weren’t just passing fantasies for her. That the circumstances had been different.

Stephanie rolled over, thinking of the things she’d seen when she got dosed with the Black Mercy. A Blue Lantern ring. A Nightwing costume with a symbol in her favorite color. A little boy who bore an eerie resemblance to Tim. Any one of them could be the focus of Stephanie’s mirror.

Maybe that was okay, though. Tim had mentioned that you weren’t necessarily supposed to be certain until you look.

Stephanie rolled over, content knowing that, at least, she could guess the theme of what it would be. Love, family, heroism.

Yeah, she was okay with not knowing for sure.

 

* * *

 

Tim looked at his phone, contemplating Stephanie’s question. A year ago, things had been so clear, even with all the shades of gray he was living in at the time.

Not that he missed last year. He just missed knowing what he wanted, knowing where he stood. When he was looking for Bruce, at least he had a purpose. Now…

Now, what was Red Robin other than a poor attempt to copy what he’d lost when he lost Robin?

Well that must be it then. He’d see himself as Robin in the mirror. Simple.

After another fifteen minutes of staring at the apartment he was supposed to be staking out, Tim was a able to admit to himself that he was over-simplifying it. Sure he wished that he’d never had to give Robin up, but he wasn’t sure he wanted it back. There was a point when one just couldn’t be Robin anymore, and Tm was pretty sure he’d passed it. He still wished he hadn’t, but that wasn’t for him to decide.

But that left him without a clue of what he’d see in the mirror. His dad maybe- him and all the people who hadn’t come back- but that seemed overly simplistic as well. Tim had a family.

At least he thought so.

Tim huffed. This was not what he should be thinking about right now. He ought to be focusing.

Nevertheless, for the next hour of stakeout, Tim’s thoughts kept wondering back to the question.

Maybe he’d see himself settled down with someone, out of the hero life. Maybe he’d see the result of a life where things had worked out with Stephanie.

Tim knew that wasn’t quite right, even as he thought it.

For a second his mind went, unbidden, to thoughts of a hand in his, make-out sessions on the Titans Tower couch, Blue eyes and a too-perfect smile.

But that was just self-indulgent. There would never be something like that between them. They were just best friends, was all.

Then again, what was the mirror of Erised, if not self-indulgent?

 

* * *

 

As Cass dropped from the sky like an avenging angel, she took a moment to consider Stephanie’s text. She hadn’t really needed to focus on patrol, she could have answered just fine without problems. (As evidenced by the circle of unconscious bodies around her) But she’d wanted a moment to… think about what she would see.

Cass had never been good with words- she hadn’t even read the book Stephanie was referring to, only seen the movie- yet she wanted to be able to precisely articulate this answer. It felt like a victory, in a way, to be able to do so.

For the longest time, Cass had no words, no plans for the future, no desires beyond her next meal. At most, she yearned for contact, for understanding, for pleasure to be more than just the absence of pain. She had all of that now.

Maybe- her Batgirl costume, but- no. Stephanie had needed Batgirl. Cassandra missed it, but the way Steph lit up wearing it more than made up for the hurt of giving it up.

Perhaps she’d see words- written ones- actually understandable to her.

It could be that she’d see something about her family- the one by blood, not by love and choice. Her father, accepting her, loving her. Her mother, reformed. Her ‘sisters’, saved.

Or- or. Cass looked at her hands, seeing the blood that still clung to them in her mind’s eye. The man she killed. The man she took everything from. Maybe she’d see him, alive, returned. And all those people she hurt- killed when she was controlled getting the same.

But she couldn’t have that. All she could do was try her best to save those who still had a chance.

With a feral smile, Cass scaled the fire escape of the nearest building, ready to fly over the rooftops to the next emergency, the next victim to save.

In her head, Cass chanted her mantra- the one that’s success might be what she’d truly see in the mirror.

_Nobody dies tonight._

**Author's Note:**

> Stephanie's part is longer than I intended. Oh well.
> 
> "Nobody Dies Tonight" Is a phrase that featured prominently in one issue of Cass's batgirl run. I cannot remember the issue number but it was a good one. Fortunately, DC realized what a good line it was. Unfortunately, they started giving it to other characters to say, even though it's one of her signature lines. :(


End file.
